I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
