after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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