Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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