did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
