Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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