i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are two peas in an std pod
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
