Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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