I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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