Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
