I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize