All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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