You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
