Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
