Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
