It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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