She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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