I think im going to throw up on grandma
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
