There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
