FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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