On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
