and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
