So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
