So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
