wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
