I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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