I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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