party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In other news, I just burned my penis
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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