They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
