No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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