Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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