I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
