I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
