there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
accomplished twins. life is a go
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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