There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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