i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize