I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
