I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
