Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
