kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
