so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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