You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
