no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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