we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and she was petting her beer can
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
