She said her name was "party"
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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