What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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