whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize