i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
