i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
