Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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