My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
