Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
