if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize