Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
