i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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