Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
