Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
