Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize