it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
