i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
