no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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