and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
